{life chapters: part 1}

Never more, than this chapter in my life, have I known how much I need Him.

Never before has my destiny weighed so heavily on my mind and heart. 

To be consciously aware of literally every thing in my life is because of a greater will than my own is...something that I'm still baffled by. 

So, life has been a challenge since graduating from college. Ha, 1 year ago...

Between struggling with student loan debt, working like an insane person, job hunting...it's been a challenge to keep my head above the water, to say the least. 

Now that I've completed one year as an adult, I can actually speak with conviction...it's not as great as it seems, haha! 

This year has thrown some mighty challenging stuff my way and just trying to figure out my next step has been beyond daunting. At times, it has been petrifying. And most of the time, I have not liked it. 

Okay, Story. 

So, I have a degree. An actual, 4 year degree that I'm proud of.

The job that I hold now does not require a degree, as it is entry level. At the time they offered it to me, I was willing to do anything just to get back home and away from Columbus. Mistake #1: I should have found a job that pays more than $9 an hour. Because, ya girl has a Mt. Everest of student loan debt and she likes to shop. 

But not only that----I SO desire to start my own life. Where I have my own place, with my own pup, and my own bathroom... I yearn to be able to support myself, 100%. And not depend on ANYONE. And right now, I live at home-which I am thankful that I was able to move back home...but, you know, it shouldn't be this way. 

I want to be an adult. 

Work is exactly that. I am dumbfounded on a daily basis at what I call my profession. My stress level is, most of the time, through the roof and I work insane hours, but I put my everything into my job. Even when you can't even tell. {which is most of the time}

So, in my opinion, this chapter of my life is full of lessons. Just a few...

Lesson #1: first is not always best.

Lesson #2: be grateful for any opportunity. 

Lesson #3: throw your everything into something. 

That last lesson, I am realizing the beauty and the power I have at this point in my life. I am single, untethered, and willing. I desire to find a job where I can just throw my all into. A job where I have no boundaries because of the openness I am capable of. I want to be über independent. It's gotta be out there somewhere, right? Searching...

But, throughout this year, I constantly said to myself "There's gotta be more than this..." But, really...there has got to be more to life than working. Gotta be. 

Oh, is there. 

Prayer. Relentless prayer. Realizing that I need Jesus so much, and realizing that all of this is temporary. Developing a mentality that is Christ like, and praying for the people who cause me to break. Knowing right from wrong, and making a conscious effort to do the right thing...

This is what I am working towards in my spiritual life. This, and so much more. 

I know that this is just a chapter in my life book.{gosh, I talk about chapters so much} 

And I am grateful for these trials in this chapter. Because without them, I'd be a worldly woman, with no yearning to cling to God. 

So, here's to many more chapters that have been written and just not read... 

Next chapter, please.

Caitlyn