I've tried to write this blog SO many times because I have SO many feels in my life right now, I need an outlet to get them all out.
* You've been warned. *
My sweet, precious Nanaw was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer a little over two months ago.
{8 weeks, to be a little more precise.}
And it's been a wild ride ever since.
My grandmother has lived with my mom for 15 years, so I've been one of the fortunate souls who's lived with a grandparent. It's hard to remember life before she moved in. I just remember, when my parents were going through the divorce, Gracie was still a baby and my mom needed help raising a wild teenager {me}, an innocent little boy{Hayden}, and a sweet little baby{Gracie}.
Josie had a large part in all of our growing up, and especially with my siblings. And, looking back, I'm blessed to have had a live-in grandmother.
Wisdom that my mom could not provide, Nanaw Josie always did.
Some of my fondest memories revolve around the car rides to and from school. Always telling us to mind our P's and Q's, "show your learning's", or asking us what we learned that day, and if we had a good day. She always loved to know details of our day at school.
Since being diagnosed, she has reminded us numerous times about her long life, and how she's lived longer than most.
84 years this past November.
She reminds us that she is ready, and knows where she's going.
~THIS~ truth has been comforting but also a difficult pill to swallow.
I mean, I am SO thankful to know that I will see her in heaven one day and I am so happy that she is strong in her faith, but it just means that in order for this to come to fruition, she must leave us here on earth. And, that's hard.
She was diagnosed in late March and she chose not to pursue any further testing or treatment. So, we just made her as comfortable as possible. We surrounded her with her favorite things: her puppies and flowers.
All was...okay-ish. For a week.
The ball dropped and we were sent to the hospital because the pain was just more than what we could handle at home. This was when they told us she must be pretty far along in the stages (we were unsure because she chose to not test further) and recommended hospice.
I can pin point our heartbreak to this exact moment.
So, hospice we did.
She was accepted into Sanctuary Hospice in Tupelo. And let me just take a moment to express how absolutely wonderful Sanctuary Hospice is. Those people are angels. My family would not have made it without the support they provided. I am forever indebted to them.
Anyway, I wont go into details about this experience, because it was awful on my family, but she only stayed 1 night and we brought her home. She was still okay enough for us to care for her at home, with assistance from Sanctuary Home Hospice and when the time came where we couldn't care for her at home, we would go back to the house.
Well, the time came 8 days ago.
I am so thankful that places like Sanctuary exist, and I encourage everyone to support them. I cannot think of a more worthy cause.
So, here we are. 8 days in. Taking it one day at a time.
Because each day that she's been at the house has been different.
It is so hard to see God's plan in this, but I am trusting in Him to get us through.
I am particularly praying for God to get my mom through all of this.
She's carrying a lot on her that should be shared by her sisters, but you know, "selfishness and family" is a blog for another day.
I'm thankful for friends who care, even though events like this show who really cares for you, and it's never as many people as you would think.
But, still, thank you.
Prayers for us, please.
caitlyn.
* You've been warned. *
My sweet, precious Nanaw was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer a little over two months ago.
{8 weeks, to be a little more precise.}
And it's been a wild ride ever since.
My grandmother has lived with my mom for 15 years, so I've been one of the fortunate souls who's lived with a grandparent. It's hard to remember life before she moved in. I just remember, when my parents were going through the divorce, Gracie was still a baby and my mom needed help raising a wild teenager {me}, an innocent little boy{Hayden}, and a sweet little baby{Gracie}.
Josie had a large part in all of our growing up, and especially with my siblings. And, looking back, I'm blessed to have had a live-in grandmother.
Wisdom that my mom could not provide, Nanaw Josie always did.
Some of my fondest memories revolve around the car rides to and from school. Always telling us to mind our P's and Q's, "show your learning's", or asking us what we learned that day, and if we had a good day. She always loved to know details of our day at school.
Since being diagnosed, she has reminded us numerous times about her long life, and how she's lived longer than most.
84 years this past November.
She reminds us that she is ready, and knows where she's going.
~THIS~ truth has been comforting but also a difficult pill to swallow.
I mean, I am SO thankful to know that I will see her in heaven one day and I am so happy that she is strong in her faith, but it just means that in order for this to come to fruition, she must leave us here on earth. And, that's hard.
She was diagnosed in late March and she chose not to pursue any further testing or treatment. So, we just made her as comfortable as possible. We surrounded her with her favorite things: her puppies and flowers.
All was...okay-ish. For a week.
The ball dropped and we were sent to the hospital because the pain was just more than what we could handle at home. This was when they told us she must be pretty far along in the stages (we were unsure because she chose to not test further) and recommended hospice.
I can pin point our heartbreak to this exact moment.
So, hospice we did.
She was accepted into Sanctuary Hospice in Tupelo. And let me just take a moment to express how absolutely wonderful Sanctuary Hospice is. Those people are angels. My family would not have made it without the support they provided. I am forever indebted to them.
Anyway, I wont go into details about this experience, because it was awful on my family, but she only stayed 1 night and we brought her home. She was still okay enough for us to care for her at home, with assistance from Sanctuary Home Hospice and when the time came where we couldn't care for her at home, we would go back to the house.
Well, the time came 8 days ago.
I am so thankful that places like Sanctuary exist, and I encourage everyone to support them. I cannot think of a more worthy cause.
So, here we are. 8 days in. Taking it one day at a time.
Because each day that she's been at the house has been different.
It is so hard to see God's plan in this, but I am trusting in Him to get us through.
I am particularly praying for God to get my mom through all of this.
She's carrying a lot on her that should be shared by her sisters, but you know, "selfishness and family" is a blog for another day.
I'm thankful for friends who care, even though events like this show who really cares for you, and it's never as many people as you would think.
But, still, thank you.
Prayers for us, please.
caitlyn.
